Do We Subconsciously Practice Exclusion?

I have been thinking a lot about lately about the difference between inclusion and exclusion. Not everyone wants to be included in everything, but no one wants to feel excluded in anything.

I thought about how I have encouraged our Divine Mercy leads to ask new people to lead a decade. I couldn’t put my finger on why that was so important until last week. When we call upon the same people over and over without asking others, we are, in essence, excluding those others. We are taking an opportunity away from them to either step out of the their comfort zone (which is what happened with me when I was first asked), or do something that they really want to do but do not want to ask to do. We can give the impression that we are an exclusive “club” and that others are not capable, or worthy, or welcome.

In addition to the change it made in me to be asked, I cannot express adequately the response I get when I ask someone new. Even when they have absolutely no desire to lead a decade, they overwhelmingly and with great sincerity thank me for asking. An extra benefit for us, was in asking a new person to lead a decade, that same person agreed to be a DM lead a few weeks later when the need arose. Had she not been leading the decades, I doubt she would have been comfortable in taking over the main lead position even as back up.

Plus, it may be coincidental (although I do not believe in coincidences), the days of the week where the DM leads are more apt to ask new people, we have seen an increase in the number of people who arrive in time to pray it. They may not want to lead, but they also feel that it is not just for a few “chosen” people. I think they sense the true intention which is to have everyone participate to prepare themselves for Mass. It is not just a small group of people who decide to pray it.

That is just one example that we need to be aware of how what we do or don’t do may cause someone to feel excluded. I think it is such a prevalent misunderstanding when talking about inclusion vs exclusion. So I repeat again and ask that you sincerely consider the statement:

Not everyone wants to be included in everything, but no one wants to feel excluded in anything.