Why do we say we are okay when we are not okay?

Before I went to sleep last night, my mind was awhirl with a few conversations yesterday. 1 of which was where I had the normal exchange with another where we ask each other if we are okay. We both answer yes. I told a 3rd party that this exchange happens often. That the other person could be crawling on the floor, and the answer would still be they are ok. I think I understand why, I truly do, but……

As I was saying my prayers for this person this morning, those thoughts came back again. I tried to concentrate on the fact that he believes he is “okay”, no matter what, but I can’t help sometimes think it is more than that.

I thought about how I say the same thing most of the time even when I may be depressed, in pain from my many “ailments”, or just had had a really bad day. Although sometimes it is for that same reason, sometimes it is not. Sometimes, I say it because I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. Sometimes it is because I know nothing I face could ever be as bad as what others (especially this person) face day in and day out with his health, his responsibilities, his commission, etc.. And sometimes, due to those reasons, it is because I do not want him to be disappointed in me.

Sometimes with others, it is because I think they are just asking out of habit or politeness, that they really are not interested. Sometimes I get the sense that they are hurting and are asking because they need to tell someone what is going on with them, so I say “okay” and ask them. They are then free to share with me what they need to share.

I took a nap after Adoration. When I woke up – there were the thoughts of that conversation and my earlier thoughts. Unfortunately, that led to my old habit of making everything about me. I wondered, since I know he shares some of the specifics with others, why is it he always just says “okay” with me? Does he not think I am sincere in the question? Does he not trust me with the information of his personal struggles? Does he not believe that I pray for him and sometimes am asking so I can target my prayers? Does he not believe that MY prayers mean anything if he does believe I am praying for him. With that last one, I chastised myself and then told our Lord, I couldn’t understand why He was letting me dwell on this so much. Is there a lesson I need to learn but am not getting it?

I decided to distract my thoughts (or so I believed) by listening to one of our Deacon’s homilies from yesterday which I had been told was very very good. I started listening and lo and behold it was about us needing each other; how we cannot do it alone; how God places people in our lives because of that; how we need to recognize those in our lives who are trying to support and help us; how we need to thank God for them.

At first, I thought it was validation for my dwelling on the fact that this person never acknowledges he is struggling (at least with most of us) and that is something for which I should be praying for him. But then something Deacon said also led me to think about the position this person is in and how he may feel the need to come across as strong, not only in Faith, but in body and mind also.

After finishing listening, I prayed and this is what was laid on my heart: First and foremost, I needed to remember that my main commission regarding this person is to pray for him. I received that commission the first time I saw him (okay, actually the 2nd time, but the seed was planted).

Second – I was being offered another opportunity to trust:

• I need to trust what I KNOW about this man. With the Gift of discernment, I know this man’s heart. I know he is a precious and special son of both God and our Blessed Mother. I know he is filled with the Holy Spirit and calls upon Him in every situation. I know he responds to the inspiration and direction of God.
• I need to trust that God uses us in each others lives as He sees fit. If He wants me to be someone’s confidant; if He wants me to know the specifics of any struggles; if He wants me to be a greater source of support for anyone, as long as I am open to His Will, it will happen in His time.
• If God chooses not to use me in any of these capacities, I need to trust He has placed the right people in others lives that will fulfill those needs.

I then asked the Lord, but what about knowing how and what to pray for…. He simply responded –

THAT IS WHERE YOU NEED TO TRUST ME!

We may think there is more to it when someone or even we ourselves say we are okay when maybe, based on this world’s standard, we may not be; but what was laid on my heart is that people who trust in God and trust others who trust in Him, deep down, we know we are “okay” and that even those things that make us not “okay” at the moment, will come to pass.