Today was a rather difficult day in my Spiritual Journey. I was unfocused at Adoration, prayed very little throughout the day, accomplished even less. I had not even been to Holy Mass. Today, of all days, Alpha Wednesday. The day that I need to be focused in prayer.
Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that our good Pastor had established an evening Mass on Wednesdays. My spirits lifted and I was determined that I would be focused, offer worthy (or as worthy as He would grant) praise and thanksgiving for a God who is beyond Goodness.
As I watched, listened, and, participated, I witnessed and heard a truly humble servant of God. One who prays for humility and strives to practice it in everything he does.
I try, anymore, to make it extremely rare that my posts include negative observations especially regarding the Church or her Priests. But in order to share what was laid on my heart, I have to include it. Less than 2 hours after witnessing humility in action and words, I am told of another Mass that a friend attended at a different Parish given by a retired guest priest. She told of the homily that she heard of which the contents were anything but filled with humility.
Unfortunately, I know this priest well. Although I had not heard him say anything quite as pompous as what she heard, having heard and witnessed him at Mass over the years, this did not surprise me. As we were discussing how he could possibly have said what he said, the total and complete lack of humility – his well known ego, immediately came to mind.
As I was driving home, Jesus showed me the fruits of both men and their “shepherding”.
The first (in his own words) “eats, sleeps, and is consumed by evangelization”. His desire, no his absolute NEED to spread the Good News, to know Jesus and to make him known is driven by his knowledge of who/what he is and Who/what God is. He is so thankful and joyful that God has chosen him as His humble servant. He cannot bear the thought that others may not ever “experience Jesus”. As a result, the Holy Spirit thrives in our Parish. Faith is being deepened and more and more people are having that personal experience with the Blessed Trinity. He is educating, inspiring, leading, and, encouraging his flock to be true disciples of Christ and to make disciples of others. Our parish has more Confession hours and Mass times than any in the Diocese. We offer more programs, special events, Holy Hours, Devotions, ministries – all aimed at discipleship and getting us and ours to Heaven.
I have been a parishioner of the 2nd in 2 different parishes spanning many years. He is well liked mostly because he tells the people what they want to hear. Actually, even more sadly than that, he believes what he is saying. I have always attributed Adoration as the reason I left the last parish and switched to St. Louis, but I realize that the Holy Spirit was saving me from a destructive situation in addition to leading me to where I belonged. I realized that I became a “diocesan parishioner” (as one Deacon called me), because I was searching for more. I reflected on the homilies and knew I was not learning, I was not being inspired, I was not being led to holiness. I was being told how great I am and how great my pastor was.
When reflecting on my time under this priest and the fruits of his “shepherding” with the parishes, I recognized there was no call to evangelization, no call to repent of my sins, no call to humble myself before God, no call to draw closer to God, no call to challenge myself, no call to be anything other than who I was at that moment. There was no humility, only self adulation.
I know I am where I am supposed to be at this time and at this moment. I thank God that He has called me to humble myself before Him and that I am finally being “shepherded” by someone whose focus is on God and not himself or what God can do for him/us.
Under my current Pastor and Associate, I am feasting on life saving fruit while under my past pastor, I was being poisoned by spoiled fruit.
blessedadorer 
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