Regrets – My Resolve

We all have regrets of some kind.  We regret something we said or did, or something we should have said or done that we did not.   It can be a small unimportant thing like not going (or going) to a party, wearing something unflattering, you know, the stupid things in life that we give way too much attention to sometimes.  Unfortunately, many of us have regrets that go far beyond trivial matters.

After writing https://blessedadorer.wordpress.com/2019/03/04/the-fb-post-that-changed-everything/, I started thinking about what an impact FB has made in my Spiritual Journey, both positive and negative.  This led me to think about the high school friend that urged (okay, badgered LOL) me into joining.  Ironically, she is no longer a friend on Facebook nor in real life. 

When I “unfriended” her I felt I had to do so at the time, but the thing of it is, now,  I regret doing so.  Yes, her posts absolutely sent me through the roof.  Her attitude, flippancy, hypocrisy, and superiority were causing me to sin.  No matter how many people tried to reason with her, point out what was obviously hypocritical, or simply respond with a different perspective, she would lash out or belittle others while saying she had an open mind.  I tried to just ignore her posts, but I kept going back and reading them.  I would get angry, upset, and would, therefore, not always respond in the manner that I should.  When all this transpired, I was very early in my return to truly practicing and growing in my Faith.  I thought there was no alternative.  She was not going to listen and I was not going to stop getting upset.

Back then, I never thought about praying for or about someone whose attitude or demeanor I could not peacefully accept.  I never thought about the fact that this could actually be an opportunity versus a hindrance to my personal growth.  I never tried to consider whether or not I could have a positive influence on her and/or what I could learn myself with trying to deal with her if I persevered.

So many of our regrets now, we were so sure were the right things then.  So many regrets are due to our ignorance at the time (you didn’t know what you didn’t know until you knew it).  So many regrets are a result of our maturing in life, education, and Faith.  We thought we had the answer.  We thought we knew.  We thought we understood.   We never thought that we could possibly think another way – after all, what is right is right, right?  I am still convinced that some of the Jews truly believed they were doing the right thing when they called for Jesus’ crucifixion (especially if they only heard the trial and had never heard Jesus Himself).   They thought He was blaspheming God and that they were doing what God demanded they do in return.   After His Resurrection, hopefully many of those same people who thought they were acting righteously regretted their part in it – they just didn’t know what they didn’t know.

I wonder now with how far I have come in my journey, if I would respond differently to her posts.  I wonder now, if I even would react as strongly based on where I am today in my Faith.  I wonder now, if praying for help in dealing with her would have been the answer.  I wonder now, since I am more confident in myself, as well as, my Faith, could I respond in a way that would be able to reach her?  I will never know because I severed our contact (and no, I cannot re-friend her for reasons that would take too long to explain).

So I guess what I am saying with all of this is yes, we have to make the decisions we think are best, based on what we know at the time.  But, I for one, am going to try to make sure, at least when it comes to my relationship with others, that I do not do something that is permanent and might later regret.  I will also make sure (as comprehensively as I can) that I have explored every option, and, most importantly, prayed about every aspect of the situation before I make that decision and especially a decision that will end a friendship.