My prayers (outside of family issues) have been so focused on the “Truth”. At Mass, as Father prays for the Church and to “bring us to the fullness of charity”, I have for the last several months added “and Truth” in my prayer. It seems as if nothing is clear anymore. It seems that the “Truth” is muddied. There appear to be valid arguments on so many issues both from a liberal and conservative perspective… but that is my problem… it should not be a perspective; it should not be an argument. It should be plain and unadulterated. But when you have supposed good and faithful clergy teaching based on perspective, how do you know what is right and what is not? I have begged for clarity.
I just finished reading several posts and articles by “faithful Catholics”, both laity and clergy, and the comments on those by both “faithful Catholics” and non. I was confused, angry, disappointed, and frustrated to just name a few sentiments. Nothing I read this morning was consistent, useful, or answered questions. Nothing inspired me to be a better Catholic or person. Most were articles condemning actions of others or stating what others are doing wrong (yet when asking for clarification, received vague and unrelated responses). I thought, how is this helpful? How do all these inspire or clarify the confusion that is rampant in the Church right now.
Our Lord answered me by laying on my heart: they are not “keeping the main thing the main thing”…. and I smiled. I suddenly understood why He had me read, comment, and contemplate what I read this morning. He was answering both my recent prayers while also defraying some of my fears and doubts about my parish.
You see, this phrase is what our Pastor has recently adopted and I have been contemplating its “Truth”.
By applying the “keep the main thing the main thing” to what I had been reading, God gave me peace. He reminded me that most, even the well-intentioned, have an agenda. When that agenda is anything other than being true disciples of Christ and bringing others to know Him, when that agenda is more focused on what is ritually correct or incorrect, the Truth does get muddied. When the focus is about us vs Him, then our understanding of the truth now becomes a perspective not a reality.
As for the parish and our Pastor, this phrase is what he has always said was his attitude and is his vision for our Parish. (Actually, originally he said he was single-minded in doing all things for the Glory of God, but this just carries that a bit further as to how).
You may ask why then would I have fears and doubts about my parish. Most recently, it is regarding a book study on Divine Renovation. It is not about Father or the overall book. It is more about a dynamic which I (and others) have been seeing in the Parish lately, one other issue that I have promised to stop posting about (the devil’s minion), and, yes, a couple dangerous (IMHO) ideas in the book that, on the surface, are good, but based on current trends and line of thinking, could easily be misinterpreted and could go very wrong. Plus, the last Church I saw try to implement some of the same basic principals quickly turned into a Protestant Church with a Catholic name and fixtures.
Since I trust Father more than anyone else I have met in my life, I was determined to and feel I successfully read the book with an open mind. I still had some concerns as mentioned above, but I went to the first book study. Unfortunately, some of my fears were exacerbated. Although the presenter did an excellent job, his first statements when discussing the premise of the first couple of chapters gave me great angst. His choice of words and what he was stressing was one of the very things that I fear could be misinterpreted (“we are all called to be priests“).
In addition, the first session did not allay my fear regarding the dynamic that I (and many others) had been witnessing – a small group of individuals who are influencing and driving the Parish. It was finally officially confirmed that this group existed a few weeks ago but not who all made up this group (only one name was mentioned and we all already knew she was apart of it as she had been “lead” of every study program and most major projects up to this point). Although, I learned of 2 others who seem to be extremely faithful Catholics, I do not know much about them. It is a 7 week program, so I know there are more but we still do not know who. Therefore, there is no assurance of a balanced perspective. If we have to deal with perspectives, at least ensure there is a balance. Plus, it is hard to understand why this information is not being disseminated. It is almost as if everything is “secret”.
I had hoped that this study was going to be an opportunity for all participants to at least be able to provide feedback and to express ideas that would actually be considered. Unfortunately, it does not appear that this is going to be the case. Instead, it is appearing to be exactly what I feared. This study is to just prepare us for the decisions that this small group of individuals have already determined to be the appropriate future for the parish. Again, the 2 new names I learned seem to be very reasonable, faithful, Spirit-filled, and have the good of the parish and church as their motivation, I just feel that there are things that everyone as a whole, myself included, may have as good of ideas that might even meet more of the goals and vision. The sentiment was expressed by a couple people that they did not understand the purpose of the table discussions for this particular book. Past books it has made sense (although several of us would have liked to heard everyone’s thoughts), but this one, being the “future of the parish”, many of us feel should be more total participant discussion or else assign a team member to each table. What is the point of discussing our thoughts and ideas if no one in the decision making process hears them? Maybe that will be the case at the end, but this first session certainly did not indicate that our ideas would be heard, much less honestly considered.
I have been seriously questioning whether or not I should even continue with the study. I understand the premise of the book. I understand all of and agree with most of what is in the book. I do not need someone to explain the book (I am pretty astute and intelligent myself). I will participate as far as I can in whatever they implement at the end. So, what is the point in going through the study?
Which brings us to this morning and my “aha” moment in my journey.
Calling to mind that phrase, He led me to pray about the parish and then gave me further peace. He reminded me to TRUST. I trust that the Holy Spirit is in charge. I trust (okay, in this case, hope) in the intelligence and faithfulness of the leaders of this program. I trust that Jesus will reward the parish for keeping the main thing the main thing by overwhelming her with His Spirit, guidance, and successful discipleship and evangelization. I do not want to miss out on being a part of it…even if that part is only listening and praying. If this study is the way God has chosen to lead us to keeping the main thing the main thing, who am I to argue!
If I do continue to go, at least I get to spend time and have meaningful discussions with some AWESOME people by whom I am inspired!
blessedadorer 
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