Tomorrow is the Day! Pray for Me :)

I have been smoking since I was about 8 yrs old. I heard my mom say many times that the doctor told her the calming effect outweighed the bad (remember, this was the early 60s). I was “hyperactive” and always in trouble because I could not sit still, so I thought I found a resolution. One of my chores was to clean the ash trays. My mother smoked 100s but only smoked about half of each one, so I not only started at that early age, I started with half smoked cigarettes.

My brother knew I smoked shortly after we moved to Memphis (I was about 12). My middle sister a few years later. My mom did not find out until I was almost 17. When she found out, I did quit. I quit that is, until my 18th birthday. All my friends I went out with that night were smoking. I made the mistake of thinking, what could one night hurt. Apparently, a lot.

I have quit over the years for a few weeks at a time. Once for about 3 months. I always came up with a reason to go back. I will not bore you with the reasons, most I am sure you have heard. I will say, my most recent reason (other than the family reunions) is based on fear. How will my lungs react, after all, they have been fed smoke for 50 years? They do not know anything different.

Well, it is time to find out. All my hopes and plans depend on it. If I want to move forward with my discernment, if I want to have the kind of people around me that I know I need, if I want to be the person I know I can be, then I have no choice.

So please pray for me. Please pray that I persevere, but also that, while going through the withdrawals, I am not to agitated or impatient with others. They don’t deserve to pay for my weaknesses or crutches.